What Men Say And What They Actually Mean!

Is it a coded language men speak? A language perhaps that is representative, where one thing actually means another? What is it with them anyway??? It should not take a degree to figure out what it is that they actually mean when they say certain things, but sometimes it seems as though it does take some kind of ‘degree of doublespeak’ or something to figure out what they are actually saying! Women need help decoding this obscure ancient art of men, so I searched high and low and put together a reading list for all those women who require enlightenment:

Here is an excellent collection of deconstructions of statements that men make. Sample this:

He says: “I can’t find it.”
He means: It didn’t fall into my outstretched hands, so I am completely clueless.
He says: “It would take too long to explain.”
He means: I have no idea how it works.

Sometimes men actually mean what they say: When they say “I’m hungry”, “I’m tired” or “I’m sleepy” they may actually mean just that! For more decoding, however, look here, because when they say any of these things, “Can I call you sometime”, “Can I take you to a movie/dinner”, “May I have this dance” they all mean the same thing: “I’d eventually like to have sex with you”.

Then here, is an interesting bit of ranting obviously by a woman who’s learned to decode gobbledygook: “It’s not you, it’s me.” They actually do mean it is you. It is never them.”

““Of course I’m listening to you, dear.” This is usually followed by a few caveman grunts and a nod or two. We’re not really listening but we are paying just enough attention to not get caught watching the football while you describe, in excruciating detail, everything that happened to you today.” Read other gems like this one over here.

Here is another really good collection, sample this:

“Have you lost weight?”

Really means…

“I’ve just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill.”

“Woman driver.”

Really means…

“Someone who doesn’t speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me.”

And finally women, may I just end by saying that this actual statement may come in a variety of disguises, may be so covertly said as to be quite indecipherable, but beware! A lot of things could actually mean this: “I’m just not that into you”. If you need help decoding that one, may I direct you to this most excellent book that will clarify all for you!

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7 Responses to “What Men Say And What They Actually Mean!”

  1. J David (1 comments) Says:

    “I can’t find it.”

    That is probably the one I use the most. And it does mean that I am probably sitting on the couch and have looked in my immediate area, without getting up, and have probably not seen whatever is lost…

  2. Top Pixelhead Commentators for June 2008 - My Online World Says:

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  3. Wayne (2 comments) Says:

    Oh, that is so true. But it does go both ways right? Perhaps if people (notice I said people, not women) were not so sensitive about how others feel, we wouldn’t have to disguise our true feelings to not offend the other party.

    Myself? I tend to say what I mean, regardless of how others feel. I think that is more appropriate than hiding my true feelings or saying something completely untrue. Dont’ you?

    Cheers!

  4. evawhite (35 comments) Says:

    J David: All men are the same……Just kidding.

    Wayne : I think that’s the best, to say what you feel and not keep double faces. Straight forward and clean.

  5. Lorelai (1 comments) Says:

    That’s hilarious! It’s universal too, my boyfriend is from England and it’s the same thing!

  6. kimberly bock (1 comments) Says:

    He says: “It would take too long to explain.”
    He means: I have no idea how it works.

    That’s classic. hahaha.

  7. Daniel (2 comments) Says:

    I couldn’t understand some parts of this article What Men Say And What They Actually Mean!, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.

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